Yahoo! Health, Are You Fucking Serious?

Here begins my rant for the day (or rather last night).  It was a typical night in my house - a little TV, a facial experiment gone bad, and a quick email check to see what tempting retail offers had navigated cyberspace to land in my inbox.  When I logged out of email I saw a headline on Yahoo! about new eating disorders.  It intrigued me enough that I read it.  For that I apologize to my IQ - that was punishment. 

The two "new" eating disorders are a) picky eaters and b) overly healthy eaters.  Understand that I realize the perils of eating a select variety of junk food as the so-called picky eaters do.  I also understand the detrimental health effects that could arise if all you eat is organic broccoli.  To me, extremes are dangerous regardless of what end of the spectrum they reside.  But, what I take issue with is the fact that our society feels the need to label everyone with at least one disorder.  The very URL in my blog is my sarcastic self-labeling.  In fact, I've even blogged about my various "disorders."  However, what I term a disorder of personality is really what MAKES my personality and I don't feel the need to medicate myself to fatten the pharmaceutical wallet. 

The article stated that "orthorexics" or the healthy eaters may, "start by eliminating processed foods, anything with artificial colorings or flavorings as well as foods that have come into contact with pesticides.  Beyond that, orthorexics may also shun caffeine, alcohol, sugar, salt, wheat and dairy foods. Some limit themselves to raw foods."  Since when did it become an eating disorder to eliminate things that either shouldn't be in your food in the first place or are bad for you in excess amounts (or possibly hard for your body to digest i.e. dairy)?!  I'm confused by this statement.  I mean, really?  I'm sure the psychiatric and pharmaceutical industries are already on verge of some grand diagnosis and drug to cure these people for wanting to put good things into their bodies...

Amazed at America's growing stupidity,
Me

Why Am I Dysfunctional This Tuesday?

Because I planted myself firmly on the sunniest spot of my couch, for at least half an hour, where I proceeded to hunt and eliminate my split ends with cuticle scissors.  And yes, this is a fairly regular habit.

What would make it better? 

A bald head.

But, I can't bear the thought of that unless medically necessary. 

Accidential Obsession

When I walk into a department store that sells perfume, it's not typically what I'm there to shop for.  Until recently, I never even considered myself the "perfume type."  In fact, when I do occasionally shop for it, I grimace at the flowery scents that invade my nose and silently curse the women who have unknowingly used such scents as weapons against me.  But, this discerning nose of mine hasn't discouraged loved ones from giving me the gift of my current perfume obsession.  Humorously enough, the very perfumes that I love were never picked out by my nose.  Nope, every perfume I own (with the exception of two) was a gift.

So, what's in my growing collection?

Latest addition (which I love) - samples of CLEAN perfumes that my aunt gave me upon discovering her dislike for them.

My wonderful samples from left to right: Versace Bright Crystal (first 2) and Victoria's Secret collection (too many to name)

DKNY (left is Fresh Blossom & right is the original) and Revert Eco by Rue 21 was an xmas gift from my grandma.

Clinique Happy Heart was my 1st purchase; the D&G Light Blue and Juicy Couture Viva La Juicy were b-day presents from my brother (good job brother!).

What are your fav perfumes?  Do we share any common loves?

Abnormal Eating Habits

I doubt I'm the only one with this issue, but as I think about all of my various abnormalities, my eating habits usually jump to the top of the list.  For dinner, I had a homemade cheeseburger with some chips - normal sounding enough, right?  Then, I ate the remainder of the pickle I sliced for the burger before diving into the freezer for yet another ice cream sandwich.  I think I've eaten at least one a day since I bought the damn things.  Not doing much for my heart-health, am I?  Then, when I thought I was done I see a blog about the benefits of taking a shot of apple cider vinegar to detox your body.  I remembered I had coconut vinegar, which is supposedly even better than the apple cider variety.  Off to the kitchen I went for a shot.  I topped it off with a little of my strawberry delight chocolate bar.  I think I feel a stomach-hating-me session coming on...

Custom Chocolate Just for ME?

Yep, it arrived from Germany today!  I've been waiting about 2 weeks to get my Chocrì custom chocolate and it was worth the wait.  The candy bars are huge and have fresh ingredients.  Another blogger I watch, Kandee Johnson, actually helped me discover the amazing site: www.createmychocolate.com.  You just select the type of chocolate you want and add your desired extras to it.  They even let you name it.  Below are the ones I got!

Left: Dark Chocolate, Bourbon Vanilla, Orange Bits & Almonds.  Right: Dark Chocolate; Strawberry Bits & Strawberry Chocolate Drops!

The backside!

What's the Cost of My Impatience?

As stated in my last blog, I thought this weekend I'd spend some girl time with my cousin after she convinced me I too wanted the peek a boo highlights she's been lusting after.  I made my way to Sally's and picked up everything I thought I'd need to do both our hair:

• Mixing bowl
• Dying brush
• Dye
• Developer
• Gloves
• Salon Clips
• Dye stain remover
• Hi-Lite Wraps (which suck btw - do not recommend)
• Deep Conditioner Packet  

Price: $36

I couldn't wait for my cousin, though.  Friday night, I took to my bathroom on a mission.   When I finished the application, I was sorely disappointed to see that it did NOT turn out like this:

Instead,  I was left with my natural color.  The color didn't take at all.  So by the time I got to do my cousin's hair too, I had time to contemplate going colorful.  Would it really looks as fun and fab as I thought, or would I walk into work with pink hair and look like a fool?

I opted to go instead for a full head of black hair.  Yeah, not that adventurous, am I?  But, it is a change from my brown hair and so far I love it.  The Feria kit from Wal-Mart that I used for the black only cost me about $8.  So in total, I'm just over $40, but for that, I probably could have got the peek-a-boos professionally done and been satisfied the first time around! 

*Disclaimer:  The cost of car fuel used in the numerous trips to stores and back, Starbucks and other fast food meals were not included in the above costs.  Just goes to show my ideas and impatience can end up costing me! 

Bright ideas around every corner,
Me

Venting Session: Finding Your Balance

My morning usually starts with me feeding my cats then stumbling into the bathroom for a hot, invigorating shower.  The scent of my shampoo makes my heart beat with joy and I'm (almost) ready to start my day.  But every day this week, I've been derailed on the upbeat start to my day.  I have repeatedly tried (and failed) to do something moderately cute with my hair.  Even something that looks relatively simple to do is a fail for me.  Before I even go to work, I manage to frustrate and fluster the hell outta myself.  I then rush out of the door hoping that I haven't forgotten my keys inside (keep in mind I'm usually clutching the keys for dear life because I've made the mistake of leaving them behind one too many times; sometimes in -20 degree weather). 

Then, my day consists of countless meetings and so many emails I'm beginning to drown.  Luckily, I can flag my emails and write a to-do list, but for the sake of our well-being, we all need ways to maintain and/or restore balance to our lives.  When we walk out of the office or off the job site - what do we do to usefully process that week's volumes of information, yet still enjoy our time away from work? 

Today, as I headed to my car, I really took in and enjoyed the sunshine (which I hadn't seen all day), and I was comforted by its warmth.   Naturally, I drove to my grandma's where I always find balance.  This is my #1 way to balance my life.  There's something about grandma (and her house) that keeps me grounded and makes me feel like the day's or week's or month's stresses aren't as big as my mind sometimes purports them to be.  I feel a sense of calmness when I'm there; whether it be the smell of food cooking, coffee perking, or the noise of family in general, I just find happiness there.  I find a safe haven to allow my brain some genuine down time!

But, as my grandma gets older and her blood conditions seems to be worsening, I wonder: what happens when grandma's isn't my refuge anymore?  I may be able to go to her house, but will the same feeling of comfort be there if she's not?  Nothing will ever be able to replace the balance that she's unknowingly placed in my life, and I thank God every day for her and the amazing way she's influenced me - whether she knows it or not. 

Another way I enjoy relaxing is blogging!  I've enjoyed sharing my thoughts, ideas, tips, etc in an e-world.  Whether people read them or not, I'm happy putting my blogs out there. 

Like any (normal) girl, I also use retail therapy on the occasion I can afford it.  This weekend I might do a mini-session of retail therapy by getting some hair dye and forcing my cousin to help me with the peek-a-boo highlights she's convinced me I should want.  Of course I'll help her do some in her hair too, and we'll make a girls psuedo-salon session in my miniature dining area.  What fun!

Then, it's back to devising my best plan to consume all the information I need to be competent in my work environment!

Balanced & Relaxed,
Me

Today's Biggest Impaired Functioning

I woke up this morning at 5:15; rolled out of bed at 5:45.  I (mistakenly) thought that if I gave myself extra time, I could pull off a pretty side braid with a messy bun.  I sat in front of my mirror working on that damn braid, trying my hardest to master the under-french-braid technique that I've never known how to do.  When I finally got the braid to look decent and tried to style the rest of my hair I was sorely disappointed to see the messy baby hairs sticking up everywhere.  So, I ended up taking the braid out and brushing my curls to soften 'em before I left the house at the time I was supposed to already be at work!  It's official - I suck at trying to be pretty.  Does it really have to be that difficult?! 

French Fail Braid,
Me

Why Am I Dysfunctional Today?

• I slept from 7pm last night to about 5:30am today; still managed to crave sleep by mid-afternoon.
• Mounted a stair master in my work apparel - heels and all - in the hotel where I had meetings at.  This earned me many a blank and confused stare from others. 
• Tried solving a "brain training" puzzle that looks like: 

Failed miserably, even when I tried to cheat by YouTubing the solution.  The "solution" only landed me in a tangled mess.  I couldn't even get back to the starting point so I could try again.

• Ate guacamole for dinner.  It was my main course and my side dish. 
• Followed dinner with not one, but TWO ice cream sandwiches.
• Became nervous watching Casey Abrams on American Idol.  His singing face looks like creepy sex faces OR like he enjoys eating fetus for breakfast, one of the two.  

Dysfunctionally yours,
Me

Fab Find: Weekend Shopping

Journal Cover

Sample Page

As I was doing some shopping this weekend, I stopped at Francesca's Collections. Aside from the adorable apparel, they carry a collection of novel items. I love to browse through the Quotable magnets among other things. While I was there, I fell in love with the "My Dysfunctions" journal. It was too hilarious for me to put it down and walk away. While I don't know exactly what dysfunctions this journal will contain, I do know it will help me embrace every single one of them! Additionally, it may become a source of inspiration for blogs to follow!

Dysfunctionally,
Me